I am sure many of you don’t read the comments on these blogs, which is probably just as well. But those of you who don’t may not know that I am currently on the look-out for deserving causes to leave my copyrights to.
Fortunately I have no children. Equally fortunately I have no family, due to a horrible rift caused by them repeatedly trying to sell me on the black-market during family trips to Czechoslovakia. Good times.
As I like to think big, I dream of the time when the world will recognise my genius. One day, while doing just that as I lay on silken cushions, smoking best Colombian Gold, I realised that my copyrights may one day be worth a fortune. One of Johnny Depp’s children may want to play a young Danny, with Ridley Scott’s son directing, and a fledgling Weinstein producing.
PIRATES OF HOPE HOUSE FARM! Think of the lunch boxes. Think of the sales.
I realised that with such a potential fortune at stake I could seduce my more dedicated fans into mutilating themselves, lured by the hope of being the heir to this glorious empire.
So far, Jodie is the only person to succumb to my evil charisma, because she is the only person who realises the book’s IMMENSE potential as a money machine. Subsequently, much as ancient Egyptian slaves threw themselves willingly into the Pharaoh’s tombs to be walled-up alive, so has Jodie been prepared to mutilate her pristine flesh just for the chance to be heir to this MASSIVE fortune. That kid’s got some balls. Figuratively speaking, of course.
The picture above is Jodie’s tattoo that she had done of the Poison Pixie logo. I confess to being disappointed that it was not a full body tattoo of me as a deity, complete with a halo, or, failing that, that it wasn’t a 4″ high DANNY tattooed across her arse like a pair of BENCH tracksuit bottoms, but it’s still a damn fine effort by a first-rate tattooist. And aren’t those lovely jeans she’s got off one leg while she sits on her bed in her knickers to photograph the other leg with her phone? Now that’s what I call dedication, as well as damn fine flexibility (take note future potential sexual partners).
Right, the game is on. Now, who is going to be first to name their children after me?